So, you freaked out, huh? Did you swear really loud? Did you ugly cry? Did you throw angry words at the wrong person? And now, you look yourself in the mirror and you say – YOU ARE AN IDIOT. You curse yourself for overreacting and are now backlogging all of the apologies you need to submit.
Let’s retrace the steps real quick and find out 6 reasons it’s okay to freak out every once and a while. (And what to do when you lose your shit.)
What could (and most likely would) happen if you didn’t freak out
Let’s say you didn’t freak out – you did experience the same anger, the same circumstance happened to you – but you didn’t do the actual freaking out part.
What happens chemically to the body? What physically happens to the cells of your body that work on healing? Here is what really happens to your body when you don’t freak out at Very Well.
Now, I am not saying it’s okay to freak out ALL THE TIME, nope. You can’t! I am saying it’s really okay to run into the garage and scream at the top of your lungs for 2 minutes straight. It’s really okay to punch a few pillows.
A release is important for moving on
Ideally, we really want to learn from this whole freak out thing, right? If anything we can say, “Well, I learned from that one.” SO, how do we do this? We use the freak out to realize some things.
What is it that made you so mad in the first place? Did you REALLY move on or did you just get mad and it’s still there? Festering. Can you relate to this story at TinyBuddha? Did you forgive? So many questions but in reality, it comes down to one thing. Are you moving on? Moving on requires letting go. Ask yourself a few times, maybe this will lead to less freakouts. Just sayin’.
A sudden burst of anger is better than daily harbored anger
Picture this. A tight ball constantly spinning with small worry, daily in and out, every day just worry that builds but never, ever stops. Now picture this, a relaxed ball that freely rolls and on occasion bounces fanatically, sometimes breaking things for a small time. Which is better? No really, which one is truly better overall? I know it is hard to say because that ball is breaking things, but it is few and far between.
Can the ball repair the damage, no. But the ball learns each bounce how to control the next course, how to NOT break the things in it’s path. So in a way, be the ball. Harness the anger and deflect on things like, the wall instead of your spouse. Or channel that anger into a martial art or a video game. Channel it – here are some ways from Inc.
It’s all about the reaction to it
What do they say? Stress is all about how you react to it. Right, so the reaction for ALL the days you didn’t react then becomes your reaction.
Anger is not just a ball of fire that comes out of nowhere. It is cultivated, created and grown through time, persistence and sheer determination. Anger starts as an idea, you think about possibly being mad about that one day. Then BAM, it’s there – you ARE mad about it. All of a sudden it’s an idea, it’s a choice to be mad about it, and now you feel slightly out of control of feeling mad about it. Then KAZAM, it has made you so mad you erupt, you yell you scream, you cry. You have let it WIN.
You have officially broken down to the repeated slashes that anger has made into your soul. So the REAL question here is, how strong are you? Can you take the tiny tick marks of anger attacking you or will you let them wear you down? Instead of letting it wear you down, let’s build a shield against it. It’s time to start building some shields. Here are some ways to build your shield via Skills You Need.
You can learn to channel it in different ways
Let’s take a look at the positive here, right? C’mon sunshine and rainbows! Now we have learned about harnessing, channeling and building shields. We feel sort of powerful – like She-Ra. What can we possibly do with this (as we are already fearing our next freak out)?
Before you even knew it, you just gained an ounce of power. So now you can learn to KNOW your anger. You should learn to know when it is coming, how bad it can get and how much you can direct it. Each freak out has now turned into a mystery case that you, the Detective, has solved.
You know the clues, you know the culprit, you know the end result. So take the knowledge and make it yours, own the anger. I know this article has the word, “anxiety” (oh no!) in but, scroll down til you see a few ways to channel – amazing stuff at the Calm Clinic.
Anger makes you realize how much love you actually have
And there it is. The pot at the end of the anger rainbow. If there is anything you get out of this, get this – you can’t get mad about something you don’t care about.
So, basically getting mad makes you a hero.
You get angry because you love. Because you care. I will let you fill in the blanks here but the bottom line is that your heart is big. Your soul is strong and with that comes a lot of passion.
A lot of unharnessed energy that could be used for good or evil. You literally have a Star Wars choice here – choose to use your energy for good or evil. If you can somehow channel your use of energy – you could potentially channel your anger and POOF – baby steps to less of a freakout.
Call me when your freakouts are manageable to thank me if you’d like but don’t blame me if it takes years to harness (we are after all, only human) Dr. Gail Brenner has some insights on this.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Disclaimer: This is a fictional rant of emotional love by Caylin Brie White, there is no MD, no psychiatrist label here – this is just something I have learned along the way that could potentially help those who are open to it. No need to WebMD anything, just listen to your soul.